Trying to get someone to notice your not okay is possibly the worst
Hey anon, hey! I’ve answered questions of this ilk before, but you have caught me in a good mood on a Monday evening, so prepare yourself for a long-winded answer in which I use your question as an excuse to ~talk about myself~.
- When I finally acknowledged that I had depression/anxiety at the beginning of 2011 (really, I have had traits of both for a years, and while I don’t consider myself depressed in the slightest any more, I consider my anxiety an integral aspect of my personality), I went on antidepressants and I also had counselling with a psychologist in which I had cognitive behavioural therapy. You don’t need a psychologist to learn CBT, but it obviously facilitates it and the method is more effective.
- Basically, dealing with anxiety means realising what triggers you to become anxious, how your thoughts manifest in response to these triggers, and finally, how these things affect your behaviour —> and what this does to perpetuate your anxiety further. This is actually a very tricky process and requires ~self-awareness~. It’s helpful to have a notebook by your bed (I find my anxiety is often worst at night when I have time to think) in which to write out your thoughts as a stream when you get an anxiety attack. Writing helps regardless of whether you read over the things later because it forces you to collect your thoughts beyond simply being a kind of haze.
- If you spend enough time being mindful of your actions/behaviours when you are anxious, you’ll soon figure out the very early warning signs of an imminent attack. For me, as soon as I start feeling fat and comparing my body to others, it’s a clear cut sign that there is something going on I am anxious about. It’s an utterly irrational connection to have, but I don’t focus on that - I focus on finding the trigger for my anxiety and fixing that.
- I’ve accepted that anxiety is my natural response to a raft of different ~life events~, and that it is part of the package I come in: I wouldn’t be nearly as motivated and driven without anxiety being part of who I am. I use a lot of my negative feelings about myself to fuel pushing myself to the limit. This isn’t always such a good thing, but instead of trying to change myself and questioning why I am such a noodle, I look at what’s caused my noodle-ness in the first place.
- Remember that triggers for your anxiety can be completely different to how your behaviours and thoughts have manifested. Get to know yourself, and your common patterns of how you react. I know exactly where my mind goes when I start to get anxious, and instead of freaking out about my thoughts going in circles, my automatic response is now to consider why these thoughts are happening in the first place.
- Focussing too much on the negativity up in your head has never been a productive exercise for me - my overthinking brain will always be able to justify rebuttal to positivity.
- Remember that if you leave your anxiety to fester, it may come out in different ways. I get chest tightness, sweat and suffer from headaches that make me feel like my world is imploding when i let my thoughts race but don’t try keep up. Then it’s a process of back-tracking.
- Remember, triggers are the starting point, and once you know what they are, you can choose how to respond to them. This is easier said than done.
- Precipitating factors play a big part in my current anxiety symptoms in that I don’t experience anxiety on a daily basis any more, but if I stop being mindful and taking care of myself, it can flare up. Lack of sleep, alcohol and boys who don’t treat me well are probably my main precipitants.
- Remember the point in which you realise that you want to control your anxiety attacks is irrelevant - there is no such thing as being too late in deciding you are worth breaking the cycle for. Don’t worry about all the time you’ve ~wasted~ being anxious - because all you are doing is perpetuating that notion.
- Stuck inside a cramped room? Get outside. Room messy and stressing you out? Pick the shit up off the floor. Cancel your plans to catch up with a friend if you’re going to be driving in traffic. Seriously - make it your priority to modify whatever you can in order to maximise YOU looking after YOU.
The most useful thing I have read in a long time. Thank you Cbel ❤️
you do not think, you do.
you do not question, you work.
you do not complain, you embrace.
you do not fall down, you overcome.
you do not give up, you endure.
you do not stop, you keep going.
you do not take from others, you give.
you do not forget, you learn.
you do not hate, you move forward.
you do not wish, you move.
you do not fear, you welcome challenges.
you do not loose your patience, you meditate.
you do not be selfish, you keep your heart open.
you do not take things for granted, you remain humble.
you do not loose your head, you stay grounded.
you do not show disrespect, you shake hands.
you do not follow expectations, you do you.
you do not follow, you lead.
you are you.
and you only have one fucking life to live.
i did all of these things because it was all i truly had left. my spine and lower part of my body are only connected by metal. and i was explained i’d never get to do anything really with my life. all i had left was my mind. i am truly, to be honest, fucked up some in the head. my thoughts are dark on occasion and i can be very independent.. so much that i escape out to the woods randomly for hours to explore the deep cracks and veins of my skull. i want into the darkness, it gives me wisdom, it has taught me patience, acceptance, strength, and love. i am forever grateful for my struggles. it shaped me to be unstoppable. while my body may breakdown, my mind shall never give up on me. because ONLY i know. ONLY I KNOW WHAT I AM CAPABLE OF AND WHAT I HAD TO DO TO GET HERE. i am lucky. i am blessed to walk, to run, to ride my horse again. how could i let that opportunity slip by me? sure, i am exhausted. constantly so far in my career i have kept getting serious injuries and sometimes my spine just wont handle me…. but i just can’t… i just simply cannot give up on myself like that…. it’s that simple…. i don’t know what i’d do if i gave up. if i threw in the town and cried, ‘I’m done’… that wouldn’t be me.
i keep going forward, after all my hardships because i can. because it makes me feel alive to be able to overcome, to endure, to embrace and give to others. give inspiration, give hugs, give strength. it is what keeps me going forward even though at times i struggle. and struggle hard.. it’s just me.
I’ve eaten so much pizza and sweets I think I might explode in happiness #shitblr
Evernote is my new bestfriend, I already feel like it knows everything about me <3
good idea!! thank you!! :)
My housemates ex-gf has just rocked up and we’ve all locked ourselves in our rooms
You know when you just don’t like someone - I’m not writing this to be bitchy but as far as people go she’s inappropriate, humiliating and a general unhygienic, lazy person.
The point of this is: WHY IS SHE IN MY HOUSE GTFO
I was going to selfie but
I look gross but it’s okay
Work was super busy today, though I only did 4 hours (I just cover the lunch shift now) and it went so fast I just couldn’t believe it.
It’s finally December!! :D November was such a horrible month I’m glad it’s over and I have a lot to look forward to this month including a new niece/nephew and christmas!! …and an advent calendar, because I haven’t had one since my ED and it’s nice to feel I can have one again
Last week at uni before the christmas holidays = super hetic, getting everything together for assessment. It’s safe to say Evernote has become my new best friend
I’ve officially done it! 6 days this week I’ve seriously worked out, and I’m so proud! Mixed weights and running is keeping things much more interesting. Hopefully I’ll see a lot of progress soon :3
Sad news is my kitchen is completely bare and I’m having a much larger appetite due to the extra exercise and weights which is really tormenting because I want to eat healthy but I think I’ve eaten too many snacks of nothing :(